Last night, while reaching for my tooth-brush my IPhone slid from my jacket pocket. It fell, bouncing off the toilet seat, swirled twice around the toilet bowl before settling beneath the water. It sat there glowing as though trying to hang onto life for as long as it took for me to draw a breath, scream and yank it out.
My immediate impulse was to switch it off but the off button had no effect. Slowly but surely my beloved phone lost more and more functionality. First the touch screen failed, followed by the volume buttons, wifi, and then 3G until finally it started a repeated cycle of rebooting. The battery, that a few minutes previously showed as requiring a recharge, now showed as half charged - a sure sign of a major cognitive malfunction.
It sucks to have waived the extra insurance. The phone is now incubating in a bowl of rice in the airing cupboard. If not dead, it is certainly comatose. I am resisting the urge to charge it in order to check on its cognitive function as I fear that this would precipitate a terminal short.
Here's the dilemma - Apple will replace it with re-furbished one for £146 - ouch! But as there is a postal strike now this requires a trip to the Apple store.
Usually this is a straight forward task but how is this possible without a working IPhone? Without the ability to check train schedules and departure platforms on the move, without the ability to plot optimal tube routes based on current tube delays, without the ability to access google maps and get route directions from the station to the store, without the ability listen to a podcast on the 75 minute trip, without the ability to call and text to summon up loved ones, to snap a picture of a quirky scene, to twitter or facebook my movements, to read and send email and browse breaking news stories or even to perform a Doppler frequency analysis of the noise of a passing train to determine the combined speeds...
No, venturing to the apple store without an IPhone would be like returning to a Victorian England with printed train timetables, asking directions, making conversation with a fellow travellers and being oblivious of all that occurs over the horizon until it is recorded on dead trees.
Pity the Victorians - how did they cope? I need to check on that that phone .....
