Lumpy Ride

A few months ago after cycling to at work I found a fabric place mat inside the lining of my cycling jacket. I felt rather sheepish pulling it out in front of other cyclists and quickly stuffed it in my bag.

So it was with some in trepidation when, while cycling on Tuesday, I noticed another lump forming in my cycling trousers. I find it hard to call them "trousers" but in the UK it's either that or "jogging bottoms" - which I can't say without picturing a bottom literally jogging. Perhaps cyc-bots will do.

The lump slowly worked its way down to the knee, at which point I feared it would fall right out. I thought it unlikely that this was another place mat but I did think it likely that it was a pair of misplaced underwear that had used the opportunity provided by the last washing load to good effect and attempted an escape.

Imagine the complete lack of sympathy engendered in the passing motorists, by the sight of crashed cyclist sprawled across the road with a pair of woman's kickers stuck within the chain and fouling up the spokes. I consequently modified my riding style such that my left leg never entirely straightened and lump remained at knee height.

After limping into the change rooms at work I removed the culprit - one sock.

The lesson - always shake out your clothes, even when half asleep in the morning.